Firstly, happy thanksgiving everyone.

Tomorrow is the biggest shopping day of the year, and all I ask is that you consider not giving gift cards. Over $8 billion per year in gift cards are given, and not used. If cards offered some kind of built-in discount ($45 for a $50 card) then they might be excusable, but they are essentially a crippled form of cash. Think about it, would you give someone stamps?

To me, gift cards say the following to your recipient:

“I’d like to give you money but I’m afraid you’ll spend it on drugs”

“I don’t know you well enough to even attempt to pick something out, but I’m absolutely sure what store you’d like to go to”

“I’m too lazy to go through the store and actually find something for you”

“I forgot about getting you a gift, so just be glad I had to stop for gas”

“You have bad taste and shop a crappy stores, so I’m forcing you to shop at a good one”

If you’re happy saying those things (sometimes I am), then gift cards are perfect. Otherwise, take a moment to try and think of something original, or just go with good old-fashioned cash.

The Natick Mall was a big mall, and now it’s a really big mall (and called the Natick Collection). One of the new stores is an Apple Store. I’ve been in Apple stores before, but not since they added the “Genius Bar” which is where the checkout lines used to be. When I went to pick up my new keyboard, I found it easily enough, the store is small and has an open layout. The first part of my mision complete, I looked around for where I’m supposed to pay for my item.

I wandered to the middle of the store, and saw another man looking around with an iPod box in his hand. It was obvious we were both trying, and failing, to do the same thing, which was to give someone money. I then walked to the back of the store, where there was a line of people, and waited in line. When my turn came I presented the product I wished to purchase, as well as my credit card. The “Genius” told me that the “Bar” was only for help and not for sales. “Who will take my money?,” I asked. “Anyone else,” said the Genius. Everyone else that had a nametag and a black shirt, Genius or not, was busy.

I was very tempted to place the keyboard in the middle of the floor and leave, go home, and order it online. However, I did really want it, so I waited for someone to finish explaining that all the software the person assumed was on the $2000 laptop they were about to buy (Word, Excel, and Photoshop) was extra, but “don’t worry, all the cool stuff is free,” quoth the Genius. After a few more minutes hovering behind the tentative victim, who reconsidered and left the store, I was able to get the black-shirted employee’s attention and he sold me my device from a handheld contraption.

Much like bad engineering is often identified by excessive cleverness, bad design, whether it’s a website or the layout of your store, is often identified by being excessively reductive. If you have a store, and want people to buy stuff, don’t feel offended that you need to stoop to having a sign that says “Pay Here”.

Ineffective Campaign

Originally uploaded by Eric Kilby

So you may have heard of this guy Barry. Barry plays baseball for a living. Barry is really, really good at his job, and has been for a long time. At a certain point, Barry noticed most people his age weren’t doing so well, so he tried this and that to keep his job. Some of this was good old fashioned exercise. Some of that was kinda-sorta-not-so-legal-even-less-ethical-but-not-illegal (in an unofficial, nobody’s-telling way, of course). We don’t know exactly what happened, but alot of people made up their mind regardless.

Many of these people were at the Red Sox vs. Giants game Friday night. They were easy to spot, they chanted “ster-oids” whenever Barry showed up at the plate, maple in hand. These people also stood on their feet to watch a hall-of-famer bat for the first time in Fenway Park.

Advice: If you want to boycott someone, you don’t spend 30, 50, 100+ dollars to buy a ticket to a game, and you don’t stand up on tiptoes to see every pitch thrown to him.

Speakerphones seem to be increasing in popularity in the workplace, and in case it’s not obvious, this is a bad thing. For the sake of sanity, let’s review the narrow set of conditions under which speakerphones are allowed. Note that both conditions must be met.

• You are in a fully-enclosed office or conference room.
• Two or more people need to speak on your end.

There are some rogue conditions floating around that are invalid. These include.

• I’m typing. - Stop and listen, or hang up.
• I’m very busy and/or important. - No, you’re not.

Simple huh? There is a small set of exceptions. (This list is exhaustive)

• You are juggling and on the verge of breaking a personal/world record.
• You are performing surgery.
• Your handset is broken and you are ordering a new one.
• Your ears are under some sort of medical duress and you are calling the doctor.